Pepto-Bismol Pie

I don't think I ever shared with you, Gentle Reader, this particular recipe because, quite simply, I was embarrassed to admit not only that I made it but also that I enjoyed it. You don't have to be a foodie to recognize how...Poppy Cannon-y this recipe is, and that simple realization should make any person with any decent sense of the value of food and its preparation run screaming from the recipe.

But, alas, I made it. I was curious and at the same time fascinated by its faux-home cooking veneer. And, as I stated a few sentences back, I made it and enjoyed it. And have made it a handful of times since that first time.

Gads, I am Poppy Cannon!

Fluffy Key Lime Pie1 3-oz. package sugar-free lime gelatin
1/4 C boiling water
2 6-oz. cartons key lime pie yogurt
1 8-oz. carton frozen fat-free whipped topping, thawed
1 8" reduced-fat graham cracker crust

1. Dissolve the gelatin in the boiling water in a large bowl.
   
2. Whisk in the yogurt.
   
3. Fold in the whipped topping.
   
4. Pour the mixture into the crust.
   
5. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or until set.

Yield: 8 servings

Nutritional Info
Calories: 194
Fat: 3 g
Sat fat: 1 g
Carbs: 33 g
Protein: 3 g
Cholesterol: 2 mg
Sodium: 159 mg

The Faudie's Futzings
When the husband had surgery back in November, I'd bought a box of Wally World-brand sugar-free lime Jell-o, but I never made them because he never wanted them. This recipe presented the perfect opportunity to use this item and clear up a wee bit of space in the pantry. For about the same price as the faux-Jell-o, I got a carton of fat-free HEB-brand not-Cool Whip, and for about twice the price as that faux-Jell-o, I acquired two carton of fat-free HEB-brand key lime not-Yoplait yogurt.

That's the great thing about eating Poppy Cannon-style: It's damn cheap.

The only thing that wasn't cheap was the reduced-fat graham cracker crust, so I didn't get it. I made this fluff in a big Pyrex bowl that has a lid, and the husband and I ate it straight from the bowl. In one sitting.

Yogurt-Gelatin Fluff in a Bowl--That's Good Eatin'

And we felt guilty not only for devouring the fluff but for enjoying it as much as we did. In fact, we enjoyed it so much that I've since experimented with the recipe, for there are many flavors of Jell-o (not all are sugar-free, I grant you) and yogurt. In particular, Jell-o has some seasonal gelatin flavors that intrigued me enough to use in this recipe: Strawberry Daquiri, which I combined, obviously, with strawberry yogurt, and Margarita, which I paired with key lime yogurt because it seemed like a good pairing. It might not seem that way to you, Gentle Reader, but please understand that I don't drink and only have a passing understanding of what margaritas can contain.

The margarita-key lime fluff was all right--it didn't taste much different from the original recipe. The strawberry variation was damn tasty because, hey, artificial strawberry flavoring can be pretty satisfying and because I went the extra mile and made a chocolate graham cracker crust to hold the strawberry fluff.

Now before you think I bought chocolate graham crackers especially for this experiment, Gentle Reader, think again. I'd bought a huge bag of cheap-ass chocolate animal crackers in the spring of 2008 for something or other and realized, much like my first time making this recipe, I could get rid of at least some of the contents of this deep freezer space-hogging bag by making a crust. Plus chocolate and strawberry go great together.

To help improve my chances of the crust being edible, I tracked down a recipe for a chocolate graham cracker crust and realized quickly that yes, making a chocolate graham cracker crust is as easy as I thought it could be. But, being the Faudie that I am, I had to futz a little.

Chocolate Graham Cracker Crust1 1/2 to 2 C crushed chocolate animal crackers
4 to 7 T fat-free butter

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
   
2. Prep a glass pie pan with cooking spray.
   
3. Melt the butter in a medium-size bowl in the microwave.
   
4. Slowly pour the crumbs into the melted butter, stirring to combine.
   
5. Press buttery crumbs into the pie pan using either a spatula or your finger tips, either of which can be coated with cooking spray to help prevent sticking.
   
6. Bake the crust 3 to 7 minutes.
7. Remove the crust from the oven and let cool on a wire rack.

Depending on how chocolatey or sweet your animal crackers--or chocolate graham crackers, if you can find them--are, you can add some cocoa powder or sugar to suit your tastes.

Don't ask me about the nutritional content of this recipe. Just...don't. A serving of the crackers has 3 g of fat and 120 calories, and one serving is 16 crackers--and I haven't a bloody clue how many smashed-to-smithereens crackers might be in one slice of the crust.

Since the strawberry daiquiri-flavored Jell-o has a fabulous fluorescenty near-hot pink color, the finished pie looks like...well...

Pepto-Bismol in a pie crust.

There's just no way to avoid thinking about Pepto when you see this pie, Gentle Reader. The color is so very distinct and so very similar. Fortunately, though, the pie tastes nothing like Pepto-Bismol poured on a chocolate graham cracker.

But I wouldn't put it past Poppy Cannon to have used Pepto as an ingredient in her recipes.