Yeah, Teens Really Need This in School

Wow, here's just a bloody brilliant idea: in-school coffee bars. Give me a friggin' break.

"A large Snickers Frapp, which is 20 ounces, has 402 calories, 12.5 grams of fat, 22 grams of sugar and about 60 milligrams of caffeine. By comparison, 20 ounces of Coca-Cola has about 243 calories, no fat, 65 grams of sugar and 58 milligrams of caffeine, according to the company. Also popular at the coffee shop are the cookie dough and cookies-and-cream Frapps. A large Frapp is $2.75, and a smaller 12-ounce Frapp is $2.15."

And I bet those cookie dough and cookies-and-cream "Frapps" are oh so nutritious too!

"Hey now, kids, just say no to drugs and cigarettes and other addictive substances, but don't you fret about being a caffeine junkie! We may be pulling soda machines out of school because, after all, sodas cause obesity, but don't stop gulping down those extra-tall full-of-fats-and-sugar mochafrappalattesppressos with extra whipped cream!"