Guess This Means I'm a 'Real' Runner

Woohoo and weehee for me: With my average pace of 8 minutes and some odd seconds per mile, I can manage (and actually surpass, even now when I've got a bum leg) the optimal running pace for women.

A zoologist and her team has been looking at humans' shift to bipedalism and whether walking or running had a bigger influence on the evolution of good 'ol Homo's form factor. Read all about the researchers' findings here. But here's the key finding:

Overall, the optimal speeds for the group were about 8.3 mph (about a 7:13 minutes per mile) for males and 6.5 mph (9:08 min/mile) for females.

Nifty, non?

My Little Marathon Man

Wow, it's almost April, so as promised months and months ago, the boy finally got his shirt for participating in Marathon Kids:

I'm so proud that the boy has his first running shirt!

And he's pretty proud of his first running shirt as well. We've talked about the possibility of his wearing it when we do the Texas Round-Up later in April. (And yes, Gentle Reader, I'm praying my leg issue is resolved by then. Not that I wouldn't run the 10K I've signed up for even if it's still bothering me.)

Of course, now that he's got his first running shirt, the boy can be a walking billboard too!

Really, I Don't Sweat That Much

I really, really wish I could report that I love my new iPod Shuffle after its first outing at the gym. I really do.

I really, really wish I could report that my new iPod Shuffle worked fabulously during its first outing at the gym today. I really do.

I really, really wish I could get a piece of electronic equipment that didn't give me grief. I really do.

Well, Gentle Reader, it seems I have once again paid good money to be a company's beta tester. Yes, much like my much-beloved Nike+ Sportsband that had almost zero tolerance for moisture, it seems the 3G iPod Shuffle's headphone controls have almost zero tolerance for moisture.

Like many other users have reported on Apple's support forum, about 20 minutes in my run this morning, the volume suddenly cranked itself up to damn near full blast--not terribly great for the 'ol eardrums. I thought at first that the control had gotten wedged between my bra strap and my shoulder, but I was wrong. It was still bouncing free between my ear and my collarbone. I managed to get the volume turned down, but then the controls stopped responding.

After a few minutes of futzing with the thing, which I'd turned off and taken off so I could better experiment and hopefully find a fix, while still running (not a great thing when my gait is already funky), I stopped, zipped out to my car and hoped I might be able to get my old earbuds to somehow work with the Shuffle. Heh, no go, but miraculously, the Shuffle's controls started working again.

Hmm, I mused as I stalked back to my treadmill. Perhaps they needed just a few moments to dry out. That's not a good hypothesis.

I started back up again, and sure enough, I was about 20 minutes into my second go-round when the volume jacked itself back up. I kept running, got the volume back down to a tolerable level and was hopeful I'd be good for the remaining three miles.

How Easily Hopes Are Dashed
Need I tell you, Gentle Reader, that the volume cranked itself back up a third time shortly after it did that the second time? Need I tell you that this third experience was much like the first?

Given that I was growing incredibly frustrated and just wanted to be done with the whole thing. I chucked the headphones into one of the treadmill's molded plastic drink cubbies, set the Shuffle on the literature molded plastic lip, alongside my old Nano that was hard at work tracking my mileage and whatnot, and just finished the remaining 2.5 miles sans music. Yeah, that was oh so enjoyable. But I got the job done.

In case you're wondering, Gentle Reader, the controls were working fine again once I got home and tested them.

Bum Equipment
I'm not sure what to do about my Shuffle. I'm sure taking it to the Apple store will entail a product swap, which means I'll have to charge and load up music to yet another music player that will only be replaced. All I really wanted to do today after my gym time was come home, do some work for a client and then rest my leg.

Do I return the Shuffle to Target, where I bought it just yesterday, and wait until Apple puts out redesigned earbuds? If I do this, what am I supposed to do for music, that safeguard for my sanity, in the meantime when I'm at the gym? Rely on my old Nano, which has already had corrosion issues with its headphone jack? Yeah, there's a scenario that screams "Disaster waiting to happen!"

Ugh, I hate being a paying beta tester. But, hey, that's the nature of the electronics market, isn't it?

Sad. Truly sad.

Do the iPod Shuffle

I've shared with you my iPod Nano woes, haven't I, Gentle Reader? How I was burning through an iPod a week from late February to mid-March?

Well, guess what--the latest Nano bit the big one Friday. I took it in Saturday for a replacement, and for the first time, it showed evidence of water damage. Yeah, gee, imagine that happening since I sweat like a pig when I run with the damn thing strapped to my arm in a case that does only a passable job of keeping moisture from the device.

I learned while at the Apple store that I could trade in a dead iPod for a 10-percent discount on a new one, but I wasn't prepared to shell out $140 or so for a new Nano. I mean, why when I'm bound to damage the thing sweating the way I do? (Damn those biological necessities! Must get myself Botoxed so I no longer sweat.) And finding a better armband wouldn't solve the problem either since I've searched and searched for something that's designed the way I need an armband to be designed. (And no, Gentle Reader, this situation doesn't call for me to get entrepreneurial and design my own case. I suck when it comes to that stuff.)

Resigned to just using my old red Nano until it bites the dust again (I'd discontinued its use, you may recall, because I was sure I'd corroded the headphone jack with my biological productions), I loaded this week's Target circular this morning with a mild curiosity of whether the store was running any kind of iPod specials. Sure enough, this week you can score an iPod Nano with a $15 Target gift card, which reduces the price to about the same cost of a refurbed current-generation iPod Nano from the online Apple store. Target was offering a similar offer for the 2 GB Shuffle model, but for me to use a Shuffle, I'd have to more than halve my gym music collection, which didn't appeal to me at all.

Perhaps, I mused, I'd best just bite the bullet and pick up a new Nano and be done with it--and get the extended warranty.

While at Target, though, I made a discovery: the new third-generation 4 GB Shuffle. Yes, a 4 GB, which is ample space for my 700+ gym music collection. And the nifty clip-on design of the Shuffle just might allow me to put it in a place on my person wear it might be somewhat safer from my sweat than a Nano shoved in a Spandex and neoprene armband would be. It's cheaper than an 8 GB Nano, plus I wouldn't have to buy a new armband since my current one wouldn't work with the fourth-generation Nano, which went back to the long rectangle form factor of the second-generation Nano!

The 3G Shuffle is, I have to admit, kinda cool in that Apple geeky way. It powers through the headphone port (amazing!), and the only other control is to turn the thing off, to switch it to play the songs loaded in order and to switch the sucker to shuffle. Volume control, playing and pausing music and skipping forward and back through the music queue are done from a set of buttons on the headphones. Of course, this design doesn't allow you to switch out headphones, so it's a good thing I returned the headphones I'd bought myself as a congratulatory gift when I hit 1,000 miles logged. Then again, I'm screwed if I hate the buds that came with the Shuffle--but they're just like the ones that I've been using. Not perfect, but they work well enough.

Will I use the VoiceOver feature that's already been lampooned on that there Internet? Hell no! I don't use the voice feature on the Nike+, so why the hell would I let this voice interrupt my music?

Anywho, I can't wait to take my Shuffle for a run at the gym tomorrow. I just pray I can remember how to use the controls on the headphones....

Look What I Can Do Now With String!

I'm now a two-trick pony, Gentle Reader!

In just two and a half hours (give or take), last night I learned how to chain, single crochet and double crochet. And what's nifty is that unlike when I took the Knitting 101 class at the local JoAnn's store, I left with a sampler that actually looked like something. Rock!

Of course, now that I've learned some basics for crocheting, that means I have even more projects available to me. Not that I don't already have, like, half a dozen knitting projects on my to-do list.... But amigurumi are so adorable--especially the demented ones! And I'm sure the boys'll want me to make them some Jedi amigurumi.

Well, since I've had to cut back on my running, I have a bit more time available to me at home that I would otherwise have spent at the gym, so I guess I'd best get my needles and hooks and rear in gear.

Everything Old Is New Again

Are you tired yet, Gentle Reader, of all the bad news about the economy, of all the doom and gloom, of all the tired comparisons of today's woes to those of the Great Depression?

Yeah, me too. I'm finding it hard to listen to NPR in the morning as I'm getting three breakfasts rounded up because, well, every story seems to be about the economy. Granted, I'm up and rambling about the kitchen to catch all of Marketplace, which is a total downer these days, but I always hold out some hope that what follows from NPR will be a tad lighter, a bit brighter.

Anywho, with all this talk about economizing and cutting back and pinching pennies and making the most out of what a person can now afford, particularly when it comes to food, I thought it appropriate to find myself reading M.F.K. Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf, revised edition. I didn't by it at HPB solely for this reason; no, I bought it to check out why so many food writers--and other writers--rave about Fisher's work. But as I dug into it, I realized it's a book that's once again sort of relevant.

The book was originally published in 1942 (if I have to explain to you, Gentle Reader, what was going on in '42 and why a book about making the most out of very little in the kitchen was published at that time, then you should get thee to a library--or turn to the History Channel), and the author revised it in 1951. Some of those revisions, placed conveniently in brackets, Fisher uses to update recipes or her own personal philosophies, which do evolve with time and experience, and some of the revisions are just her way of pointing out how absurd or crazy she must have been at the time of the original writing.

What I found most striking is how she recognizes that certain common sense ideas for managing a food budget and making that budget stretch without suffering terribly had during her day disappeared because of changes in society. In his review from May 22, 1942, Orville Prescott of The New York Times calls Fisher's tips "intensely practical," but he also admits he's a "mere man...who has never become even a naturalized citizen of that foreign country, the kitchen, [for whom] a good deal of the ground covered in 'How to Cook a Wolf' is terra incognita.

Funny, those same common sense ideas have also disappeared in today's society, and many folks now are finding out the hard way how they can make a few dollars for groceries go a lot further when they apply themselves to the task.

The recipes included in the book are at times an eye-opening look at how our understanding of diet and nutrition have changed over the years. My my, how differently people cooked back then! So much fat! If a recipe doesn't call for butter, it seems to call for shortening, bacon grease (if one could live with one's conscience for not giving it all to the munitions efforts) or other animal fat. And I don't know about you, Gentle Reader, but encountering the phrase congealed fat literally turns my stomach. Just contemplating some of these recipes while lying in bed at night, I found myself getting queasy at times.

As for Fisher's writing, I can't say that I'm terribly impressed. Yeah, she's got a certain wit and humor about her that is at times self-deprecating (reminded me a bit of Erma Bombeck--but not that suburban and frazzled), and her turns of phrases flow fairly well. But I guess I was turned off by her, umm, pedigree--she's terribly worldly. I mean, Fisher lived and traveled in Europe quite a bit, and some of her experiences she writes about seem...almost elitist. If she were of the same age and experience writing in contemporary times, she'd probably be a bit of a foodie in the worst sense of the term--a bit of a snob. Then again, she probably wouldn't feel guilty in partaking of some low-brow, common "delights" either--but not too frequently.

Or at least that's the sense I got. I'll readily admit to my own prejudices against folks who think that Europe's the be-all end-all of all things culinary. Of course, in Fisher's time, it was. The foods of the East were not being heavily explored yet by the masses (WWII helped change that to a pretty large degree), and I think there was a certain prejudice against the foods of India and the Middle East because they were, in a way, the foods of a subjugated people. By jove, those English and those other Europeans had to come in, take over and show the savages and lowly ones how to eat properly.

If you want to amuse yourself and have some time (and patience), you might pick up a copy of How to Cook a Wolf. I don't regret reading it--entirely--but I am looking forward to moving on to other books.

Hail Storm 2009

Much like MadTV's "Windstorm '97" back in the day, Hail Storm 2009 was much ado about a little something. But check out the size of the hail we got!

I'm Game for Ghaymeh

As I noted in my review of Alborz Persian Restaurant, my discovery of khoresh ghaymeh had me wanting to try it at home. After much digging around and coming across the same recipe over and over and over again, I settled on a recipe that I thought I could...well, I thought I could manage to pull off without royally screwing it up.

The recipe's from a gluten-free food blog aptly titled "For the Love of Food!" I like how the author describes her own cooking process, and I very much appreciate that she included photos. I find it very helpful to know what the finished product should roughly look like.

Khoresh-e-ghaymeh Lapeh (Persian Split Pea Stew)*

*Please note that the first-person voice herein is of the original author, not me, The Faudie.

1 C yellow split peas
1 lb. stew beef, cut into small pieces (mine was about 2 1/4 cup chopped)
3 medium onions, chopped
6 T oil (olive, grapeseed)
5 T tomato paste
1 28-oz. can organic crushed tomatoes with basil (I recommend Muir Glen)
2 t turmeric
3 t cinnamon (less if you don't like it that strong)
2 t sea salt
1 1/2 t black pepper
1 t oregano
3 dried limes

1. Rinse the split peas and set them to cook in 4 cups of water over medium heat in a small pot. The cooking time will honestly depend on the type of peas--it really does make a difference. I think mine cooked in about 15 minutes, but watch it and check after 10, then 5, etc. etc. If they overcook they will turn to mush and will be a sad sight. [I agree! --The Faudie] They should be al dente, or almost soft. Don't add salt or they won't cook! While they're cooking, skim the foam off and discard.
   
2. Boil some hot water. Wash the dried limes and stab a few holes in them. Pour the hot water over the limes in a bowl, and cover to let them soak and soften.
   
3. While the peas are cooking, cook the chopped onions in 3 T of oil in a large stew pot until golden but not overdone. Remove a third of them and place them in the saute pan in which you will cook the meat.
   
4. With the other two-thirds of the chopped onion still in the stew pot, add the can of crushed tomatoes as well as the tomato paste. Stir well.
   
5. Add a teaspoon of turmeric to the sauce. If the tomato paste is unsalted, add some salt.
   
6. Bring the sauce to boil then let it simmer.
   
7. Heat the saute pan with the third of the chopped onions, and add 3 T of oil.
   
8. Add the cinnamon, salt, pepper, oregano and turmeric to the saute pan, then the beef.
   
9. After a minute or two, add the limes (not the water), and cook until the meat is almost thoroughly cooked.
   
10. Add the meat and split peas to the sauce and stir well.
    
11. Turn the heat down to low, cover and let the stew simmer for an hour to two hours. Taste periodically to check if you want to add any more salt, pepper, etc. The stew can get fairly thick depending on a variety of factors. If it's too thick for your taste, you can add some water. I sometimes add some of the water the limes were soaking in for more flavor.

Nutritional Info
Sorry, I have no nutritional info to share for this recipe. Lentils are pretty low in fat and high in protein and fiber, so that's a plus. If you use as much oil as the recipe calls for, you might be looking at a higher fat content--and that's not including the beef.

The Faudie's Futzings
Oh boy, I did a fair amount of futzing with this one, but I think I wound up with something that tasted pretty close to the khoresh ghaymeh I enjoyed at Alborz:

• For starters, I didn't use any beef. I'm not a big fan of red meat, particularly bovine. It's dense. After eating it so sparingly over the last...decade or more, I can feel its weight as it's digested slowly. It makes me feel sluggish and icky, so I try not to eat much of it. Plus I didn't buy any last Friday at HEB as this recipe was sort of something I thought of doing over the weekend that followed. If you ask me, no big loss.
  
• I didn't use a basil-enhanced can of crushed toms. I used plain 'ol crushed tomatoes with the lowest sodium content I could find. And no, I didn't add any additional salt to the sauce as the author suggests. I don't find it necessary to add salt to everything. My family has a history of hypertension, thank you very much, and I don't want to wind up with it too (although if you look at the statistics, almost everyone winds up with hypertension as they get older).
  
• Since I had no beef, I'd planned to use 3 and a quarter cups of toor dal--the equivalent of the cup of split peas the author's original recipe calls for plus the 2 and a quarter cups of chopped beef she wound up with after chopping up her pound of beef. Unfortunately, I didn't have that much toor dal left. Fortunately, I had exactly two cups of the stuff, so that made me happy.
  
• I wasn't able to find dried limes at the two nearby HEBs. Sure, I could have popped in to Gandhi Bazaar, which is near the HEB where I usually do the weekly shopping where I had to run to buy tomato paste, or Shahi Foods, which is near the HEB across from the gym where I did stop after my miserable run in search of dried limes--but I went to neither place. My leg was aching during both trips, and I just didn't feel like making the additional stops. Bad, lazy me.
  
• Since I was unable to procure dried limes, I juiced three fresh limes--and discovered that was too much for my tastes. I was leery of doing that much in the first place but wound up doing it in an attempt to get a bit more liquid into my stew. The stuff was really thick by the time I added the lentils to the sauce.
  
• Because I didn't want my stew so thick, I added--gradually--an entire 32-ounce container of Pacific Foods vegetable broth. Even then, I didn't end up with the very soupy khoresh ghaymeh I'd had at Alborz--and I wasn't going to add the almost-full container of Central Markup-brand low-sodium chicken broth to try to get me there either.
  
• Since I found the lime taste and accompanying acidity not to my liking, I added a half-teaspoon of cinnamon to my stew after I'd added the veggie broth. Doing so made it taste more like the slightly sweeter concoction I'd had at Alborz.

While the author of the original recipe recommends serving the stew with basmati and the dish is served with it on the a la carte menu at Alborz, I didn't make any rice to go with my stew. I was lazy and warmed up a quarter of a teardrop of naan we've had in the 'fridge for a few weeks. If the stew had had more liquid, then I might have made up a quick batch of brown rice--which the recipe's author ate with her stew. My finished stew, though, was lacking for delectable juice to be absorbed by the rice. The sauce, however, was just the right consistency for mopping up with morsels of naan. And I made sure that bit of leftover naan didn't go to waste. Brilliant!

Stressed? Yes! Fractured? Mmm...maybe?

Wanna hear (er, read) about my oh so fun Tuesday thus far, Gentle Reader? Sure you do!

So I had my appointment with a sports doc (well, his P.A.) this morning, the same doc who diagnosed my lateral patellar tracking and IT overuse issue on my left side back in 2005. After barely getting through six miles yesterday, I was praying Camille would offer me some hopeful news about what's going on with my sartorius and other fun parts of my right leg.

Heh....

I'm going in a few minutes for an MRI to rule out a stress fracture in the femoral neck area. Given how tender certain places were on my right leg this morning when Camille palpated them and given the pretty noticeable limp I had (which has since largely resolved after 45 minutes of Spinning just now), she was concerned I might be dealing with a stress fracture. She also said the tenderness could just be from the tendonitis, which she said I'm definitely dealing with--but she wanted to be sure.

However the MRI turns out, I'm off running great distances probably for a while (suck an elf!), and I'll be having some fun PT to get my leg back into rights (joy). But at least for now I'm not hobbling on a crutch or cane, which Camille highly recommended I acquire while I'm limping.

Ugh...

Better go dry my hair, get dressed and figure out if I can remove my navel ring. Wouldn't want that sucker heating up while I'm in the machine!

UPDATE
The MRI tech said he didn't notice anything glaring, and I can call and get a copy of the report on Friday or so. The report and images will go to my doc sometime tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll get a call from Camille or the doc himself if there is a fracture.

Lemme tell you one thing, an MRI is a nice excuse for a little midday catnap in a big magnetic donut hole. However, I'm not chomping at the bit to do one again. I had to remove my navel ring, which hasn't been out since it went in in November 2002. I had to frantically track down instructions online for removing the silly thing--and that was the easy part. Putting the sucker back in--not entirely pleasant. And getting the iddy biddy ball back in place was a total pain in the arse, lemme tell you, Gentle Reader.

March (Mango) Madness

The mangoes are back! The mangoes are back! The mangoes are back!

That's right, Gentle Reader--alfonso mangoes are back on the produce shelves at HEB, and I couldn't be happier. Of course, I still have (well, now it's had) a 32-ounce yogurt carton of peeled mango pieces in my freezer. Nevertheless, seeing those yellow kidney-esque fruits makes me happy and reminds me that it was about a year ago that I started on my culinary misadventures.

I'm not the only one with March mango madness. The March issue of Cooking Light shines a spotlight on the latest food trends, but no, mangoes are not one of them. Instead, it's agave nectar. Included in the agave nectar spotlight is a recipe for mango-agave sorbet. Since HEB has its alfonso mangoes two for a buck and since I had some frozen pieces just waiting to be used, how could I not make this recipe--even though my luck with homemade ice cream is downright miserable?

Mango-Agave Sorbet4 C cubed peeled ripe mango (about 3 pounds)
1/2 C fresh orange juice (about 3 oranges)
1/3 C fresh lime juice (about 3 limes)
1/3 C tequila
3/4 C light agave nectar
1/3 C water

Combine the cubed mango, OJ, lime juice and tequila in a food processor, then process until smooth.

1. Pour the mixture into a bowl, and stir in the agave nectar and water.
   
2. Cover and chill the mixture for 2 hours.
   
3. Pour the mixture into the freezer can of an ice cream freezer, and freeze it according to the manufacturer's instructions.
   
4. Spoon the sorbet into a freezer-safe container, cover and freeze 8 hours or until firm.

Nutritional Info
Calories: 233
Fat: 0.5 g
Sat fat: 0.1 g
Protein: 1 g
Carbs: 55.4 g
Fiber: 3.1 g
Sodium: 4 mg

The Faudie's Futzings
The only thing I futzed with was the blending method. I have a small food processor. It holds 3 cups, which isn't enough room for the ingredients to be blended together. So I whipped out the blender, which worked like a charm and gave me a convenient container in which to chill the mixture for two hours.

Speaking of chilling, I did that in the 'fridge--in the very back. Where stuff happily freezes. However, the mixture didn't freeze there, and I wasn't sure how cold it needed to get to help it set right in the ice cream maker. The recipe, methinks, should specific where to chill the concoction, in a 'fridge, the 'fridge's freezer or in a deep freezer, if one has such a convenience available.

I'll also say this: My Cuisinart ice cream maker is, I think, a piece of junk. I've never gotten it to churn up something that turns out remotely close to ice cream. And I realize it's not supposed to--it's just supposed to churn up the ingredients, whip in the necessary air so that after you freeze what you churned, you have the appropriate consistency. Is the churning necessary, I wonder. I guess I'll have to do some experimenting and find out.

The finished product was delicious!

Of course, the stuff that I chilled for two hours was delicious without any churning or freezing, tasting sort of like a tequila-spiked mango lassi. (Mmmm...mango lassi....) I served it two ways: (1) with two-bite brownies I scored on sale at HEB (which I find to be tastier than the ones Whole Paycheck touts) and (2) with some red raspberry sherbet from Braum's, which added a nice counterpoint to the mango.

What was interesting about the slowly freezing, churned mixture was that depending on whether ya spooned up some of the more-frozen stuff or some of the more-liquid stuff, you got a different predominant flavor. The more-frozen stuff wasn't as sweet, the agave nectar wasn't as pronounced as it was in the more-liquid stuff. I suspect the cheap tequila I used might have influenced the varied flavor. I suppose I'll have to dig a little deeper into my pockets and fork over a bit more for some better tequila should I make this recipe again.

Oh, one last note: I have no idea if the agave nectar I get from the bulk foods playland at Whole Paycheck is light or whatever. I'm sure its grade is on the label of the big spigot, but I never pay attention. Since you have to write your own labels for your bulk food purchases (unlike the fun machines at Central Markup), I never take the time to write down what I think of as nonessential info.

Alborz=Sounds Like Al Gore but Much Yummier

After learning about the various influences on Indian food, I'd been wanting to try some Middle Eastern food, some Ethiopian food and maybe even attempt Greek again (since my one experience at a Greek restaurant in Chicago in early October of 2001 after a very wet and cold day of shopping left me hardly impressed). With these yearnings in mind, the husband and I took advantage of the boy's Spring Break getaway to try a new restaurant--twice.

Alborz Persian Cuisine is a sponsor of the local public radio station, which we both listen to frequently (yes, we are pathetic flaming liberals), so I guess its ads worked on us. Luckily too it's not far from home, and we opted to try its weekend lunch buffet. Now I realize that some restaurants don't exactly put out their finest fare on for lunch buffets, but we've found that buffets are a nice way to sample new-to-us cuisine. We eat out relatively rarely, and we don't want to order "blind" a la carte and wind up with food we don't really like. If the food from the buffet is good enough to intrigue our palates, then we'll probably be back to order a la carte--or just become big fans of the buffet.

The Alborz lunch buffet offered a nice variety of its a la carte menu. On our first outing, I had some rice with lentils and raisins scented with turmeric (very tasty), some "gourmet" leg of lamb (looked and tasted like Mum's pressure cooker pot roast and the beef aloo at Indian Palace), a mixed veggie dish of yellow squash, zucchini, carrots and onions (I'm a sucker for zucchini, but the availability of yellow squash and carrots was a fabulous bonus), a nibble of baked chicken (disappointing), chicken breast and beef shish kabob pieces (pretty tasty, but, really, grilled meat is grilled meat) and, what I think is the discovery of our outings to Alborz, khoresh gheymeh, a stew of yellow split peas, onions and beef in a saffron-tomato sauce.

Dessert offerings consisted of sholeh zard, rice pudding with rosewater, saffron and cardamom, and this cake that...well, I'm having a hard time identifying. Don't get me wrong--it's fabulous cake with a wonderful texture and flavor that people who grew up on Betty Crapper and Dinky Hines and Pillsblechy box cakes might find "exotic" wit its hints of what I'm pretty sure are cardamom, pistachio, almond and cinnamon. Looking at it, the cake appears somewhat similar to a spice cake from a box, but not as dark. And this is why I'm having problems identifying what kind of cake it is because Alborz has two pastry-ish items on its menu: baghlava (Persian baklava, which is slightly different from its Greek cousin, but I'm not entirely sure how since I have only a passing familiarity with the whole baklava family) and roulette, a rolled Persian cake. The cake on the buffet certainly isn't rolled with whipped cream, sliced peaches and pistachios.

While doing a bit of research for this post, I suspect that what I enjoyed both times at Alborz is Persian love cake. I came across a recipe for a Persian love cake that might be similar to what goes into the cake I enjoyed. Trying to find images of Persian love cake through Google was a bust, but if my taste buds are functioning somewhat adequately, I do think I've loved me some Persian love cake. (If, Gentle Reader, you've enjoyed Persian food yourself and might be able to identify the cake, please lemme know.)

The husband enjoyed the sour cherry saffron rice. I thought it was good, but I'm not a big fan of cherry flavor. Not that it had a tremendous amount, but I just...I'd prefer to use my calories on other things. But who doesn't love pink rice grains? Persians did and continue to do some really amazing and creative things with simple rice, and seeing just a sampling of such dishes was a hoot.

Damn Good Bread, Bar Nun
Okay, maybe barring naan. And roti. And paratha--which might be the same as roti. And chapati.

Anywho, the bread available at Alborz is traditional nun--or nan-e barbari, as I found it dubbed when searching Google for an image. Nun (or nan) is very, very similar to naan except that it has some herb spice added atop--or at least I think it was an herb. I tasted a very subtle hint of what might be oregano, but none of the recipes I've found thus far for nun/nan list that as an ingredient. Maybe it's my imagination.

Y'know, I think Americans are really, really missing out with their fluffy loaf breads. At this point, give me a good flat bread if you must give me bread. Naan is fabulous, as is its (probable) cousin nun. Pitas are great, and tortillas are terrific. I'm looking forward to trying the bread that's served with Ethiopian that serves at that cuisine's plate and eating utensil. I'm sure there are other flat breads out there waiting for me to try, and to that I say, "Hot damn!"

D'you Want Fries With That?
On our return trip to Alborz, I was looking forward to revisiting the khoresh gheymeh because it had an almost sweet but nevertheless hearty flavor, and I love me some lentils. Lentils are a great food to have in your regular eating routine, Gentle Reader. They're pretty rich in fiber, iron and vitamin B9 (folate), and they seem to help stabilize blood sugar, which is great if you're trending toward diabetes or are just minding your blood sugar because of the evidence pointing to the relationship between insulin and fat storage.

Imagine my horror, then, when I was making my way toward the chafing dish of khoresh gheymeh and found French fries piled atop. Egads! I cried silently. They've ruined a perfectly good stew by piling yesterday's leftover fries atop it to make it more appealing to Whitey McWhitey! Needless to say, at that moment, my warm feelings toward Alborz diminished slightly right then and there, Gentle Reader.

But that didn't stop me from plunging the spoon deep into the chafing dish to serve me up some lentil-y goodness. Twice.

Since then, though, I might have discovered that the French fries atop the khoresh gheymeh might not have been the abomination I thought they were. While searching for a recipe for this delightful stew this morning, the first one I opened includes in its list of ingredients one pound of potatoes "for french fries." I haven't yet had time to dig further and determine how authentic the fries might be, but this discovery does cast some doubt on my assumption that the fries crowning the stew might be legit. I mean, hell, even Wikipedia notes that khoresh gheymeh's traditional ingredients of cubed lamb, yellow split peas, onion and dried lime are "combined with either thin French fries or eggplants."

Maybe it's just me, Gentle Reader, but isn't there a world of difference between French fries and eggplant?

And I Keep Doing This Why?

I have to admit, Gentle Reader, that hitting this milestone so quickly is quite shocking. Running these past two weeks has been...well, painful doesn't quite fully capture the experience. Awkward is a good one. A new dysfunctional experience every time also comes close. Damn sartorius....

But the good news is that I have an appointment with the sports med doc I saw a few years back when I couldn't put up with my left knee pain. I have a good idea of what's wrong with my right quad, but I need professional help (ha!) to put it back to rights so I can run without feeling like my entire right leg's been replaced by an old pirate's wooden peg leg.

Ahh well, mustn't dwell on it too much. I've got 11 miles to run today, and I find that if I fret about my run before I get on that treadmill, coping with the ever-changing dysfunction is all the more difficult. I look forward to being able to run and not be completely obsessed with how my right foot is landing every single frickin' time it lands.

My Stupidity Amazes Me Sometimes

So last Saturday morning, I was up bright and early (5 a.m., thank you very much, boy with the thimble-sized bladder) and time to kill before the human residents of Chez Boeckman-Walker needed to hit the road for a rendezvous with Mum. Since I'd agreed to make some "shamrocks" for my dear friend and world's best Spin instructor for her St. Patrick's Day ride, I whipped out the half-block of almond bark I had tucked away in the cabinet and dug out the giant bag of miniature pretzels I'd stowed away in the freezer after Halloween.

By the way, I'm amazed by the desperate creativity of crafters. Miniature pretzels dipped in green-tinted almond bark look nothing like shamrocks. No way no how. Now if I'd seen this take on shamrocks with pretzels, I might have been bold enough to give it a try. Sure would have saved me some time (hand-dipping 175 or so pretzels isn't exactly a quick task) and some heartache (read on).

I get the bark pretty much melted in the microwave, but I then transferred the bowl to sit in a pot of simmering water (let's here it for jerry-rigged double boilers!) so I could add in the green food coloring and keep the stuff melted while I dipped pretzels for the Spin class. I'll admit that, going in, I wasn't sure how many pretzels I'd need since I wasn't sure how many bikes the Spin room at the downtown gym has. I figured I needed enough--which I'd define later--for more than a dozen people but probably not more than two dozen people since the room is more like a large equipment storage closet than an actual aerobics classroom.

With my undefined enough looming over me, I thought about how I could potentially stretch the bark so I'd be sure to have enough. After all, color-matching dyed almond bark isn't the easiest thing to do. I've tried it with frosting, and it's a pain in the arse. Thus I struck upon a brilliant idea: Why not add a bit of that fat-free sweetened condensed milk I had left after the batch of ooey-gooey peanut butter brownies I made the other day for the husband?

Can you tell, Gentle Reader, that I have incredibly limited experience working with confectionery stuff such as almond bark? I've seen competitors temper chocolate on various Food Network Challenge episodes, and at 5 frickin' a.m. on a Saturday, the thought never occurred to me that adding cold, sugary milk to fairly hot almond bark would not be the best thing to do.

No, I discovered that lesson the hard way. Within moments of adding just a drizzle of the sweetened condensed milk to the bowl of melted almond bark on the double boiler, my bark began to solidify. And by solidify I don't quite mean become hard as a rock. No, it became very...well, kind of homemade Play-Doh-like. (You remember making your own Play-Doh out of flour, water and salt because your cheap-ass parents wouldn't buy you any, don't you, Gentle Reader, only to have your mother yell at you for wasting her flour and making a mess? Yeah, those were fun times, weren't they?)

Well, so much for making pretzels this morning!, I told myself as I mushed a spatula into my almond bark-doh. But I couldn't just let the stuff go to waste. No, I'm not about waste. Then I pinched off a bit of the dough, rolled it into a small ball between my palms and, just to satisfy my curiosity, popped it in my mouth.

Inspiration struck at that moment: I've got modeling chocolate!

If you've never watched any of the cake or chocolate episodes Food Network Challenge, then you've probably missed the incredible things that can be done from modeling chocolate. I did not do any of those wonderful things. No, at 5 frickin' a.m. on a Saturday morning with one disaster under my belt, I was a bit bereft of ideas for things to sculpt from almond bark-turned-modeling chocolate.

So I made snowmen.

I also attempted an R2-D2 (that's him on the far right--the misshapen garbage can propped atop two blocks). The husband came in later and made a Jabba. Bastard.

Jabba also has a beach ball. Or the head of a snowman whose body he ruthlessly let melt somewhere in the Dune Sea of Tattoine. I'm not sure which.

Just in case you're wondering, Gentle Reader, the pretzels did get made. I spent four hours or so the day before St. Patty's Day making them. That was a real joy. But the class really enjoyed them and showered me with thanks. That's always nice.

Cinco de Mayo's also on Tuesday. Perhaps I'll have to whip up some of those tequila bars I first made back in mid-January. Maybe--since I like my fellow Spinners--I might even spring for some better tequila. Eh, maybe not. The class is full of boozehounds. (Hey, it's Austin. The place is lousy with boozehounds.) They'd probably appreciate the boozy smell of the cheap tequila I do have.

This Fish Is Also Delish!

While I don't think anything can compete with Gulf red snapper served Gulfside at Gaido's, the adult human residents of Chez Boeckman-Walker enjoyed a new salmon recipe that's pretty damn good.

Wanna know more, Gentle Reader? Of course you do!

Sweet Orange Salmon2 T brown sugar
1 t chili powder
1/2 t grated orange rind
1/2 t ground cumin
1/2 t paprika
1/4 t salt
1/4 t ground coriander
1/8 t black pepper
4 6-oz. salmon fillets

1. Preheat the broiler.
   
2. Combine all the spices in a small bowl.
   
3. Rub the spice mixture over both sides of the salmon fillets.
   
4. Place the salmon on a broiler pan coated with cooking spray.
   
5. Broil the salmon for 8 minutes or until it flakes easily with a fork.

Nutritional Info
Calories: 303
Fat: 13.3 g
Sat fat: 3.1 g
Protein: 36.2 g
Carbs: 7.5 g
Fiber: 0.5g
Cholesterol: 87 mg
Sodium: 235 mg

The Faudie's Futzings
The husband actually put the rub together since I was busy doing a few other projects in the kitchen. When he read me the list of ingredients so I could retrieve them for him, I actually asked, "What kind of chili powder?" Am I crazy to think that a lot of different kinds of chili powder are available, Gentle Reader, and that the recipe, which came from Cooking Light, should have specified which kind? Then again, I vaguely remember Mum having a bottle or tin of McCormick-brand chili powder or some other brand of chili powder on her spinner rack in one of the kitchen cabinets, so I suppose in a way the magazine is being specific. (I'm not even sure if Whole Paycheck and Central Markup sells plain chili powder in their bulk foods playland. Guess I'll have to check.)

Anywho, since I don't have any regular chili powder, I gave the husband our big tub of ground red pepper that I bought at the Korean market ages ago. It's got a nice kick--probably moreso than any Midwestern meat-and-potatoes eater-friendly chili powder product that McCormick makes.

The only other futzing we did was to replace the 2 tablespoons of brown sugar with 1 tablespoon of Splenda brown sugar blend. I don't even have any regular brown sugar in my pantry these days. Oh well.

I whipped up some orange basmati rice to go along with the salmon. I'd intended to make the wonderful orange couscous from Trail of Crumbs, but I only had 1.75 ounces or so of couscous--not nearly enough for the husband and me. Once the basmati was ready, I threw in the zest of one medium-size orange, juiced roughly half of that orange into the rice then chopped up the other, slightly larger half and added it to the rice. For something I half-assed on the spot, I thought the rice turned out quite nicely, and it was a great accompaniment to the salmon.

By the way, does anyone else miss the days when The Simpsons was funny and watchable? Before Homer became a complete doofus and caricature of the bumbling father stereotype? I'd forgotten how fun that show was. "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"--from which I stole the title of this post and its predecessor--was really funny and very entertaining. If you want to watch it poorly dubbed in Russian, check it out here.

Frightening Food Finds

One should never stumble out to her email and find this visual definition of the word blorf waiting for her:



So what is this hideous monstrosity, you ask, Gentle Reader? Well, get your Pepto ready--it's allegedly bacon-wrapped chicken. The alleged cook who submitted this photo of the recipe, however, did some futzing: "I added some green chilies in the cheese and didnt [sic] make the sauce."

The sauce to which this faudie refers--for those of you who are too terrified to follow the link to the recipe--consists of a can of cream of chicken soup (blorf!), half a cup of mayo (double blorf!), half a cup of milk (the cow that giveth is churning in her pasture for sure for being part of such a gruesome concoction), a teaspoon of lemon juice and some salt and pepper. Yeah, that's a sauce Escoffier would be so proud of!

If you want to really sicken yourself, check out the two pages of photos submitted by the poor fools who made this dish, described thusly by allrecipes.com: "Topped with a rich cream sauce, these bacon-wrapped chicken breasts are rolled around a mild, cheesy filling. Perfect with a side of fettuccini."

Food for Thought

While en route to the gym yesterday (had an absolutely disastrous run on Wednesday, so I opted to finish what I didn't get to run yesterday), I caught an interesting piece on NPR about concentration, focus and doodling. Long story short: If you doodle, you're more likely to recall information that was given while you were doodling than if you allow yourself to completely space out during that time.

I'm not a doodler. I haven't an artistic bone in my body. Plus if I have a writing utensil and paper in hand, I'm more likely to start jotting down story ideas or, worse yet, lists for Wally World, HEB or crap I need to do around the house. I'll admit I tend to do more of the latter than the former because, hey, gotta make that "I'm not paying any attention to the idiot yammering on during this meeting" time productive!

I find this story kind of fascinating for a more pertinent reason: On Monday, the boy got in trouble at school for writing (with a pencil) on the carpet during group time. The boy gets in trouble frequently during group time because, quite frankly, I think he's bored. I'd be bored too if I had to sit with my classmates and go through a ritual of counting the number of days of school thus far, tallying up those days on a chart, charting classmates' birthdays and a bunch of other inane tasks that involve turning these 5- and 6-year-old kids into Excel lovers. I think on Monday the boy was doing what the brain wants to do to stay somewhat alert--doodle.

Man, my kid's doomed. His education is going to kill him.

It Started Out Creole....

The day before Mardi Gras (y'know, Lundi Gras), my two daily recipe providers felt the need to do some kind of New Orleans-themed e-mails because, hey, laissez les bon [sic] temps roulez. Coincidentally, they both highlighted a Creole chicken dish as their main attraction, and I thought both recipes had potential.

That said, I wound up eliminating the one from MyRecipes.com because it contains okra, and I'm no fan of okra. In fact, one summer when I was a kid, Dad grew some in the garden, and I seem to recall Mum broke out in hives every time she touched the stuff. Yeah, thems some pleasant childhood memories. (Don't ask about the time he grew beets and Mum canned 'em.) I can't say that I've ever eaten okra, but I vividly recall its smell from that summer, and...well, we all know how much of an impact olfactory memories can have.

Let me tell you, Gentle Reader, about the one I did make.

Chicken Creole1 T olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 celery stalk, sliced thin
1 green bell pepper, minced
2 16-oz. cans diced tomatoes
1 bay leaf
1/2 t NaCl
1/8 t cayenne pepper
4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
   
2. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat.
   
3. Add the garlic, onion, celery and bell pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender (about 4 min.).
   
4. Add the tomatoes, bay leaf, salt and cayenne pepper. Cook this Creole sauce 3 min. longer, stirring often.
   
5. Arrange the chicken breasts in an 8" x 11" baking dish. Pour the Creole sauce over the chicken.
   
6. Bake the chicken 15 to 20 min. so the chicken is tender and white throughout.

Yield: 4 servings

Nutritional Info
Calories: 225
Fat: 4.9 g
Cholesterol: 68 mg
Sodium: 901 mg
Carbs: 11.8 g
Fiber: 2.9 g
Protein: 29.7 g

The Faudie's Futzings
As I stated in the title for this post, this recipe started out Creole...but I futzed with it enough that it wound up more faux-Mexican. How'd I manage that, you ask, Gentle Reader?

Like I'm not going to tell you....

I replaced the two cans of diced tomatoes with two cans of Rotel (well, the HEB brand of Rotel) because, well, I didn't want something bland to eat Sunday, and I was quite afraid that would be the result if I used just diced tomatoes. And an eighth of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper is, like, nothing. It's a hint of flavor--that's all.

That bell pepper I didn't mince. I kept it in strips, as if for fajitas. The Faux-tel contains minced green chiles, so I wanted a little differentiation between them and the green bell pepper pieces.

I also didn't bake the chicken. Lumpy has great insulation to keep the heat inside, but the house was 80 degrees Sunday afternoon, and I just didn't feel like turning the oven on. Instead, I sauted the chicken, set it aside, then sauted the veggies, then threw in the Rotel and cayenne. (I skipped the bay leaf. And the salt.) Once the sauce was ready, I nestled the chicken in the skillet and topped the pieces with some of the veggies. Then I partially covered the skillet and let the stuff simmer for 20 minutes, turning the chicken occasionally and recovering it with veggies and sauce. Perfecto!

While the not-quite-Creole chicken was simmering, I prepared some basmati rice to serve as a nice bed for the chicken dish. I'd given a fair amount of thought to making some black beans to go along with the rice and chicken a la Mum's chicken, beans and rice that the boy so loves, but I figured the chicken and veggies would suffice. Plus the husband won't touch black beans.

Speaking of not touching, I wound up eating a lot more of the veggies than the boys did, but I honestly expected it. I will give them a few mad props because they each ate a few onions and green bell pepper stripes, and neither of them bitched about the celery (and I suspected they didn't notice those pieces amidst the diced green chiles).

The chicken was quite delicious, and all three human residents of Chez Boeckman-Walker enjoyed it. I will warn you, Gentle Reader, that the Faux-tel added quite a bit of kick to the dish. But that's the way I like it!

1,000, Baby!

Yep, I hit the big one at last!

Pretty nifty, non? And, golly gee, after running my ass off, I'm now eligible to buy a $28 t-shirt from Nike. But does it have to be pink?


I mean, really now, folks. Just because I have a fabulous XX chromosome pairing doesn't mean I want to be running my ass off for another thousand miles in frickin' pink. Why not something bolder? Why not blue? Why not red? Why not just a nice white?

Hell, maybe I'll just design my own: "I ran 1,000 miles from July 28, 2008 to March 6, 2009, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"?

Y'know, I'm kinda tired now. Maybe I'll cut back my running. No more Monday Half-Marathons, perhaps. Maybe no more 11-miler Wednesdays--maybe just 10 three days a week.

Yeah, right!

The Diagram Explains It All

Okay, the diagram isn't precise. The recipe I made last night combines pork and agave nectar, not tequila. But I figured a bottle of tequila (or a box from a bottle of tequila) makes for a more visually compelling element. Am I right, Gentle Reader?

Of course, you might be wondering too, Gentle Reader, just what the hell I made exactly from a frog-loving pig--or if I got a frog-loving pig drunk and had a good time. Perish the thought!

Well, wonder no more. Here's the recipe, which appears in this month's Cooking Light:

Pork Tenderloin With Salty-Sweet Glaze1/4 C amber agave nectar
1 T chopped green onions
1 T reduced-sodium tamari
2 t grated peeled fresh ginger
1 garlic clove, minced
1 1/2 T seasoned rice vinegar, divided
1 1-pound pork tenderloin, trimmed
1 t water
Dash of ground red pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
   
2. Combine the agave, green onions, tamari, ginger and garlic in a small saucepan, then stir in 1 tablespoon of rice vinegar.
   
3. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium-high heat. Cook until the sauce is reduced to 1/4 cup (about 3 min). Reserve 2 tablespoons of the sauce, setting it aside. Keep the remaining 2 tablespoons mixture warm in the pan.
   
4. Coat a large ovenproof nonstick skillet with cooking spray and heat it over medium-high heat.
   
5. Add the pork to the skillet, and cook it 5 min., browning on all sides.
   
6. Bake the browned pork for 10 min., then brush it with the reserved 2 tablespoons of sauce. Bake the pork an additional 5 min. or until a thermometer registers 155 degrees (slightly pink). Let the pork then stand for 5 min.
   
7. Add the remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons of vinegar along with 1 teaspoon of water and red pepper to the remaining sauce in the saucepan.
   
8. Cut the pork crosswise into 1/2-inch slices, then drizzle the glaze over the pork.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 3 ounces of pork and about 2 teaspoons of glaze)

Nutritional Info
Calories: 208
Fat: 3.9 g
Sat fat: 1.3 g
Protein: 23.9 g
Carbs: 17.9 g
Fiber: 0.1g
Cholesterol: 74 mg
Sodium: 344 mg

The Faudie's Futzings
Oh my, where do I start with this one? Well, the beginning's always a good place!

• I substituted five pork chops for the tenderloin. Since this recipe is only my second time with pork and since I already had chops in the freezer, I wasn't about to shell out money for a pork product I had no experience with.
  That said, I wasn't sure if the direction for baking the pork tenderloin applied to the chops, so I kind of followed them. I baked the chops for 5 minutes then checked the internal temperature because I was concerned the rather thin chops might dry out if baked for too long. The thermometer peaked around 125 degrees, so back into the oven they went for another 5 minutes. After that, they did hit that magic number.
  
• My sauce didn't reduce to a quarter of a cup. My sauces never reduce. Oh well. That just meant more sauce for glazing the chops during and after baking!
  
• I substituted low-sodium soy sauce for the reduced-sodium tamari, which is perfectly acceptable per Cooking Light. Plus I checked out the sodium numbers on some reduced-sodium tamari products while I was at Whole Paycheck, and I guess my idea of reduced sodium is a far cry from manufacturers' idea of reduced sodium. The lowest reduced-sodium tamari product had a mere 700 mg of sodium per serving--only 700 mg!
  
• I'm not sure what the recipe's writers meant by seasoned rice vinegar. I guess I could have investigated, but I was lazy and just whipped out my bottle of regular rice wine vinegar. Since I'm not aware that I've ever had seasoned rice vinegar, I have no idea if the substitution impacted the flavor of the sauce.

I have to admit too that I didn't actually eat this dish. I'd stuffed myself stupid a few hours beforehand because, dammit, I find myself hungry for a larger meal around 3:30 or 4 p.m. these days. But I did have a lick or two of the sauce from the spoon, and it was damn tasty!

By the way, if you're an agave nectar lover like me and would like to use it more frequently as a sugar substitute because of it's wonderful low-glycemic-index qualities, here's a tip from the author of Baking With Agave Nectar that I found in last month's issue of Gourmet:

...you can substitute three-quarters of a cup of nectar for every cup of sugar called for in a recipe, lower [the] oven temperature by 25 degrees and reduce other liquid ingredients (oil, water) by a third to avoid shapeless mishaps.

You can read the entire piece on agave nectar from Gourmet's February issue online.

By the way, keep your fingers crossed for me: I might try out the mango-agave sorbet recipe that appears in the March Cooking Light. The alphonso mangos are back, baby!

Snuggie!

Got some love for a Snuggie? You're not the only one!

If you need a laugh, check out Mark Blankenship's musings on the Blankie commercial, and then read about one NYT reporter's adventures in the Big Apple whilst wearing a Snuggie.

Eat Your Heart Out, Bob Ross

He's not quite up to happy trees and happy lil clouds, but the boy's getting there! He's now got his own easel, a nice set of watercolors and about 20 "professional" brushes. Geared up with these tools and his Jedi belt (very important for a serious artist to have one), the boy's just chock full 'o the Joy of Painting.

Observe the master choosing his color.

Ah! Another stroke of genius from the master!


It's a happy lil planet!

I Have Another Poppy Cannon Moment

The weekend was kind of a quiet one, which was nice. For some dumb reason, I decided Saturday morning to whip up a cake specifically for the husband from a recipe I'd received on Thursday or Friday. Why dumb, you ask, Gentle Reader? Because I decided to do it before heading to the gym Saturday morning.

Brilliant idea, non?

Here's the recipe:

Raspberry Angel Cake1 16-oz. package angel food cake mix
1/2 t almond extract
1/2 t vanilla extract
1 0.3-oz. package sugar-free raspberry gelatin
1 12-oz. package frozen unsweetened raspberries, thawed
1 T sugar

1. Prepare the cake batter according to the package directions.
   
2. Fold in the extracts.
   
3. Spoon two-thirds of the batter into an ungreased 10" tube pan.
   
4. Add the gelatin powder to the remaining batter, then drop it by tablespoonfuls over the batter in the pan. Cut through the with a knife to swirl.
   
5. Bake and cool the cake according to the package directions.
   
6. Before serving, combine the raspberries and sugar and spoon over cake slices.

Yield: 12 servings (one serving is one slice with 2 T of sauce)

Nutritional Info
Calories: 155
Fat: 0 g
Sodium: 224 mg
Carbs: 35 g
Fiber: 1 g
Protein: 4 g

The Faudie's Futzings
Aside from not making the raspberry sauce topping (we have some leftover raspberry sauce from Central Markup from our anniversary cake), the only futzing I did was, in fact, an honest mistake.

I made the cake specifically because I had a box of raspberry-flavored Jell-o in the pantry that the husband never ate while recuperating from his surgeries back in November. Well, I didn't realize until I was opening the package to get to the little brown paper envelope of dessicated horse hooves combined with artificial raspberry flavorings that the Jell-o was not the sugar-free variety. No, I'd spoiled the husband and bought him regular Jell-o for his recuperation.

Did the sugar change the recipe? I suspect it might have a little. The fond on the cake was a lot darker than I think it might have been if the Jell-o had been sugar-free. And since the sugary variety of Jell-o powder is a lot denser than sugar-free Jell-o powder, the batter with the Jell-o sank pretty quickly into the regular batter.

Heh, speaking of sinking and batter, always check that your tube pan isn't bent or warped or otherwise damage so that it's going to leak, Gentle Reader. Batter started oozing out the bottom of mine as I was preparing the raspberry-flavored batter, and it leaked more when I put it into the oven. So not only was I a bit harried Saturday morning as I tried to get the cake made before heading off to the gym, we all had to contend with the smell of burning angel food cake and Jell-o. Yum!

So why's this a Poppy Cannon moment? Because I frickin' used boxed this and boxed that and whipped topping--yes, whipped topping, not real whipped cream--to make a dessert. How...suburban and 1950s is that, Gentle Reader?

What's crazier still is that the angel food cake mix I used--and HEB store brand instead of a Betty Crapper or Dinky Hines or Pillsblechy--had two pouches inside: one for the powdered egg whites and one for the flour mix. Yes, Gentle Reader, I had to whip up my own egg whites to stiff peaks before adding in the rest of the mix. Talk about pressure! I can never whip egg whites from eggs to any kind of peak. How the frig am I supposed to do it after adding egg whites to water?

Sheesh, I am incompetent.