Keepin' Austin Weird

or
This Former Fat Girl Can Run
Well, it's all over--and boy, am I glad! The evening was hot and windy, Auditorium Shores was dry and, as more people gathered and trotted along the dry grass, dusty. Parking was fortunately not a problem. I felt good--my legs felt ready--as we headed toward the 6 PM start.

How did I do? Pretty well. It took me about a minute and 15 seconds to actually pass under the starting gate, but at least I wasn't way far back in the crowd of about 3,000 entrants (which includes folks in wheelchairs and kids who were entered as participants). Sorry, I didn't wear a costume (maybe next year). I was there to prove to myself that I could do a 5K because, hell, that's only 3.1 miles and I do that easily at the gym on the treadmill. But a treadmill isn't a road race.

I did have to deal with some wind, and that wasn't too bad. Since the course looped and came back to the finish the way it headed out from the start, the decline I enjoyed toward the start was the incline I had to endure toward the finish. I was a little disappointed that just after mile 2, I had to take it to a fast walk for about a quarter-mile, maybe less. Hell, maybe it was just a city block and a half; I don't recall right now. All I knew was that as Cesar Chavez starts to slightly incline heading toward the First Street Bridge, I was starting to feel a wee bit hazy and knew that pushing myself to keep jogging was not the smart thing to do if I wanted to finish the 5K on my own power.

And I finished! I heard the announcer call my number and my name--mispronounced, which is actually kind of rare here in Central Texas given all the German descendants who know how to negotiate that oe phoneme. Of course, feeling damn fine for finally getting to the finish line, I immediately yelled out the correct pronunciation, and I did hear someone laugh.

As I was trotting toward the husband and the boy, who were waiting not too far from the finish and cheering, a woman thrust a ball cap into my hand, and I was too busy huffing and puffing and thinking that I couldn't just stop yet (and risk never being able to move again) and really, really wanted to get some water and pee (I so had to go to the bathroom as I was waiting for the start--damn nervous bladder--but there was no way in hell I was heading to the port-a-potty at that time.) With my two-person fan club hot on my heels, I headed into the event area and over to the runner's village to collect my t-shirt. Because, dammit, I wanted my t-shirt!

(Scored a reusable HEB grocery bag too, which totally rocks. Granted, the things are only 99 cents, but free is even better!)

So I got my t-shirt and grocery bag and some water and was told to go get myself a cupcake. Sorry, I'll pass--I want a port-a-potty! After one of the most relief-bringing squats of my life (second probably only to the one I finally got after holding in for about 36 hours the roughly two gallons of water I'd consumed while en route to, camping overnight at Cherry Creek Park, attending final Mass for and then hiking out of Cherry Creek Park during World Youth Day '93--bladder of steel I used to have, thank you very much) and a chance to wash my hands and then retrieve my towel from the backpack to wipe the sweat and sunscreen out of my burning eyes, I headed back into the runners' village. There, I scored for me and my two-person fan club:

• A big-ass slice of cheese pizza from Mangia (the boys ate that)


• A few bottles of water courtesy HEB


• A four-inch turkey, mozzarella and lettuce sub-let on whole wheat from HEB, I think


• Two-bite cupcakes in peanut butter (the best one, in my opinion), strawberry and lemon flavors from Toot Sweet Cupcakes


• A little cup of julienned red bell pepper, carrots and what looked to be some type of Asian noodle spiced with...something I didn't like (I tossed this after trying a few bites)


• Two little samples of Mexican vanilla and a little sample of Oreo cookie ice cream along with a little cup of Frito chili pie (the kiddo ate it) from Amy's Ice Cream (first time having Amy's signature Mexican vanilla--the secret ingredient is coconut milk, I swear)

If you can't tell, my two-person fan club ate pretty well from the runners' village, eating a good deal of what I brought out. I ate most of the sub myself, although I gave the cheese to the kiddo. And I probably had a fair amount of the two Mexican vanilla and Oreo ice cream little cups, but do you know how long it's been since I had full-fat ice cream? And I'm really not a big fan of Amy's. But at the time, that creamy coldness just hit the spot.

Around 7 or so, we left because, well, my run was over and taking much more food would have just been piggy. I felt pretty good as we walked back to the car, and I'm thankful for the heat because I really think that helped my muscles perform.

After about five or 10 minutes of stretching at the car, we climbed inside, and I finally got a chance to see my t-shirt. It's not bad--just the basic Keep Austin Weird 5K logo for this year on the front and logos from sponsors on the back. Then I pulled out the cap that had been thrust into my hands after crossing the finish line. Didn't know I'd get a cap too, I thought and admired the nicely embroidered Keep Austin Weird 5K on the front. Then I turned it to the side. That's when I noticed something this little bit:

"Top 50 Finisher"

I'm not sure sure if my jaw dropped or if I just started spouting Anglo-Saxon vernacular phrases of disbelief (y'know, that one involving excrement and its blessed status). Needless to say, I was absolutely shocked. I knew that I'd done a damn fine job for myself; the husband reported I crossed the finish line at 27 minutes and some seconds, minus about a minute and 15 seconds, and when I'm on the treadmill at the gym with a 3.0 incline, I can usually get in 3 miles in 30 minutes or just under (as of late). But top 50 finisher? No f'in way.

To confirm that I was indeed a top 50 finisher, the husband reported that I came in not too long after "the women who look like they're real runners." Y'know, the ones who really hoof it and take part in these things every weekend. I do know that I passed a lot of people, and that was nice. But top 50 finisher? No f'in way.

Did I mention that while at the gym this morning, I put in 5 miles on the treadmill? And I did my usual 30, 45 minutes of weights and core work.

But top 50 finisher? No f'in way!

Did I mention that I only started running in November of last year, while I was home helping Mum take care of Dad after he had his knee replaced? Did I mention that I was told a few years ago by a physical therapist I was working with at the time that because of my hypermobile sacroiliac joint and the wear and tear on my knees, doing a great deal of asymmetrical activity--such as walking--was not such a hot idea unless I enjoyed being in pain? Did I mention that since February, I've lost about 35 pounds and taken my body fat percentage from roughly 33 percent to 10.2 percent?

But top 50 finisher? No f'in way!

Thankfully I had my cell phone with us (the husband's cell hadn't charged enough by the time we needed to leave, so we brought mine), so I did what any disbelieving but totally amazed former fat girl probably does when she's one of the top 50 finishers of her first 5K: I called my mom. And then my older sister. And then my dear friend the awesome group X instructor. And then my little sister. (Sorry, Erin, that you were last. But I couldn't remember if I'd told you about the race or not.)

And then we finally got the car on the road and came home.

Top 50 finisher. No f'in way.