No One Ever Said This Was Going to Be Easy....

After putting it off and putting it off, here at long last is a video of the kitties from almost two weekends ago. If I were more ambitious, not so lazy (and weren't using MS Movie Maker for the first time), I'd take the time to find just the right background music (the fabulous--and now cliched--bit from the big fight from "Amok Time" seems appropriate). But I'm lazy. So just enjoy the kittens at play and hum something to yourself.

Just adorable, aren't they?

Sadly, in the past week one of the grays has disappeared. We're not sure if it's Sambar or Rasam, but since last Saturday, Momma's only been showing up with two kitties. What's even sadder, I suppose, is that the remaining gray has grown so much that we're having a hard determining if it's Rasam or Sambar. But at least we have pictures and video to remember our M.I.A. kitten by!

In other (less depressing news), I had my first interview yesterday. (But now on to the depressing stuff.) It went well, I think, but I doubt I'll be extended an offer, not because I wouldn't be a good candidate for the work the team needs done but because the...particulars of the position aren't right for me. I've been spoiled by my last job because I'm wanting a fair amount of flexibility. The human residents of Chez Boeckman-Walker are at a point (and moving every day closer and closer to a point) at which having two adults working outside the home a fair distance from home just isn't.... Well, I hesitate to use the word convenient here, but that's part of it. Practical is another word that might work well but doesn't tell the whole story.

During the hour it took me to get home yesterday from the interview, I realized that I'm going to have to work a lot harder--push myself a lot more--to get freelance gigs because I'm becoming more and more convinced that sort of work situation is going to offer me the flexibility I want so that I can continue to pursue my interests (i.e., keep working out the way I do, play in the kitchen whenever I want) and, once the kiddo starts school, be home for him so he doesn't have to go to after-school care. This realization hit me kind of hard because, well, being a successful freelancer (i.e., contributing in some meaningful way to the family's income) means I've got to learn to market myself, and that's completely outside my comfort zone. And the FSM forbid I leave my comfort zone!

Yet as I'm realizing this and working through my panic over the self-marketing thing, I'm also realizing that I'm not helping myself at all during this unemployment time by not pursuing the opportunities that have come up. Okay, granted, being accepted to write for eHow.com is hardly anything to cheer about because the open topics are for tasks I have no experience with or knowledge of. But I've been sitting on the contract for suite101.com for a few weeks now. Why? Because I'm scared I won't be able to churn out 10 articles every three months. I keep telling myself that's really not that much work given the production time frame. Yet still I can't bring myself to start. So how in the world am I going to survive as a freelancer if I can't bring myself to do this little thing?

Ah well, life's a learning experience. Trial and error and frustration and success, right? Roll with the changes, woman.