Everybody's a Chef Now

This evening the boys and I watched yet another moronic cake-decorating battle on Food Network Challenge this evening while noshing on leftovers. (I swear, if I could give Food Network a huge chunk of money, I too could have a cake-decorating battle all about me.) While fast forwarding through the commercials, I did a double take I did not ever expect to do while watching (or fast forwarding through commercials on) Food Network:

Was that Brian Boitano cooking?

After a quick rewind 'o the DVR, I discovered that, sure enough, 'twas indeed 1988 men's figure skating Olympic gold medalist Brian Boitano cooking. He wasn't just cooking. He was pitching his upcoming new show on Food Network, What Would Brian Boitano Cook? (If you're a fan of South Park, Gentle Reader, you will get the joke immediately.)

Oh, so that's what he's doing now, I thought. Guess it beats the hell out of other things he could be doing.

Because I was somewhat of a fan back in the day, I bopped over to FoodNetwork.com to see what I could see about this new show and, in some small way, confirm that I wasn't hallucinating. Brian Boitano cooking? That's just...yeah. Okay. Not much is available yet, except for this incredibly disgusting clip from the show (I'm guessing) in which Mr. Olympic Gold Medalist and a guy who probably spends a fair amount of time on his hair make a bacone.

"What the hell's a bacone?" you ask, Gentle Reader?

It's.... No, I can't do it. I just can't describe it. It's too nauseating to contemplate. You just...you just have to watch it for yourself.

Blorf!