How Not to Donate Plasma
Donating plasma is an easy way to make a little spare change, right? It's a step up, I suppose, from making yourself a human guinea pig in phase 1 or phase 2 clinical trials if you happen to live near a CRO (contract research organization) because, hey, if you get that new drug candidate and not the placebo and said drug candidate happens to have some wicked side effects--side effects coming to light thanks to human guinea pigs--boy does that money you make not seem like such relatively easy money.
Well, for those of us with small veins--or maybe just for me--donating plasma isn't exactly an easy way to make a little spare change I discovered. (Moreover, I don't think donating really is the appropriate verb to describe the transaction. Donating implies a certain level of altruism, doesn't it, Gentle Reader? And while some folks do donate because they're more interested in the health care and medical needs their donations help fill, a lot of plasma givers do it for the money. But selling seems so cheap and tawdry, like selling your kid for a crack rock.)
In as Little as Two Hours My Arse!
When I made my intake appointment, I was told I'd be needed for about three hours. Since I have an obligation to pick up the boy from school at 2:45, I chose a time that would get me in and out with a modicum of time to spare. And while I waited (and waited and waited some more) in the lobby, the continuously looping "All About Donating Plasma" presentation droned on and on about how donors earn good money for their donations each week "in as little as two hours" of "me" time they can spend reading, listening to music or catching up on work.
Yeah, right. What the person on the phone making my appointment didn't tell me is that apparently first-time donors aren't exactly a high priority at the center, or else the facility is understaffed to process efficiently first-time donors along with returning donors.
How do I draw these conclusions? My 11:30 appointment really sort of started around 12:30, when I had my first interaction with an alleged nurse. In 15 minutes or so, my file was in the system and I'd filled out the primary paperwork. Then I had to wait another 30 minutes to see another health care person (an EMT, I think) to get a quick physical exam and to answer the exact same questions I'd answered as part of my initial intake. Then I had to wait for an open plasmaphoresis machine and then wait some more to be hooked up to it, so I think it was shortly before 2 p.m. when blood started flowing out of my body.
And therein was a problem. I'd asked the EMT physical provider a little after 1 p.m. how long the donation itself would take, explaining that I had somewhere to be at 2:45 and that I'd been told the appointment would only take about 3 hours. He assured me I'd be able to make my 845 (cc, I guess) donation target before then. Of course, he didn't count on the phlebotomist (or whatever certification the face shield-wearing folks working the plasmaphoresis machines are) having an extremely difficult time finding a vein then getting the needle set into the vein for the blood to flow. Nor did that EMT count on my assigned health care assistant futzing repeatedly with the needle until the seal around it in my vein broke, leading to me starting to bleed out and develop a hematoma. This was around 2:10 p.m.
Fun times, Gentle Reader. Fun times.
At that point, I told the tech that I had to be somewhere at 2:45. He started mumbling about policies, and I told him that I'd been told when I made my appointment a few weeks ago that I'd be finished before 2:45. So at that point, he wisely decided to put a new needle in my left arm to give me back my red blood cells, but I wouldn't be allowed to leave the facility until I'd waited 15 minutes in the lobby so the staff could make sure I wouldn't have any adverse reactions to my donation. That would get me out of the building at 2:55.
Argh! And here I'd left my cell phone in the car.
After I was all bandaged up and sent out to wait, I raced out to my car (feeling perfectly fine, by the way) to grab my cell phone to call the husband to ask him to call the school. Heh, as usual, I can't get ahold of the husband on his cell--which he'd specifically asked me to call should I need him that day. Lovely. So I wound up calling 411 to get the school's number (I've never added it to my cell because I hate my cell phone and avoid using it as much as possible) and then frantically explaining to the secretary what was going on.
At 2:55, I grabbed my debit card with my $30 (woo-woo) from the front desk, dashed out of the building, raced over to the school, parked, ran inside and found the boy waiting with one of the kindergarten teachers. I apologized profusely to him and the teacher, got him out to the car, drove around the building to where we'd parked his bike that morning (because I'd figured I'd be able to ride down to pick him up because, hey, the appointment was only to take about 3 hours), stuffed it into my trusty Fit then hauled ass home.
How Much Misery Will 30 Bucks Buy?
I didn't follow the hematoma after-care instructions the tech gave me, and I don't think I'm the worse for it. The puncture on my left arm looks worse than the one on the right, although the right elbow bend is a little sore from all the jabbing and twisting and "readjusting" the techs did on the original needle.
As I pondered my first attempt at selling plasma, I asked myself, Will I go back? Immediately afterwards, I was undecided. After all, once the tech got a decent needle placement, the stuff started to come out like it should. I think part of the problem was that I'd been still for so long, thus my blood began to pool a little. And the facility was chilly, which also discourages blood flow to the extremities. I determined that if I made another appointment, I wouldn't go dressed in running capris and a sleeveless top, and maybe I'd try running around the parking lot while waiting my turn to bleed for money.
Second Verse, Same as the First
I bit the bullet and scheduled a second selling session with high hopes that since I wouldn't have to go through the rigmarole of donor intake, I wouldn't get as chilly just sitting around. Plus I decided I would indeed wear long pants and a shirt with sleeves and would bring along with palm-sized neon pink squeezy-foam brain my elder sister had given me years ago that she'd picked up at some lawyers' conference (because palm-sized neon pink squeezy-foam brains make great schwag for lawyers and biotech writers) to help encourage the blood to flow in my beneedled arm.
The first tech I saw had some concern about my eligibility to donate since my first donation had left me with a bruise on each arm. However, I showed them the unbruised, undamaged vein on my right arm from which I'd had drawn most of the blood samples I've ever had to give. She and her supervisor agreed it was a good candidate, so I scored a bleeding bed and was eventually hooked up.
All things seemed good to go this time: The blood started to flow without a lot of futzing around with the needle, and I watched hopefully as my bag of plasma began to fill. But when said bag was about a quarter filled, the machine began feeding me back my red blood cells, and again that's when I had a problem. Needless to say, I wasn't able to donate my full amount, but luckily I didn't have to have a second puncture to complete the blood cell return. However, I did have to wait 30 minutes in the lobby before being released. But I got five bucks more for my misery, so I guess that's some token conciliation, right?
I suppose I need to research how the plasmaphoresis machines work because I'm not sure if I'm supposed to start getting my red blood cells back so quickly into the donation process. I mean, are the machines designed to take some, then give back then take more then give back again so they don't drain donors dry or put them at risk for shock or some other adverse reaction? Or is something about my body's output trigger the machine to automatically stop the donation process and start up the red blood return process? Because it strikes me that it's at that point--about 15 or 20 minutes into the donation when the RBCs start coming back--that I have the issue.
Hmm...
Again, I have to ask myself if I'll go back for a third try. I'll probably have to wait a week since my right arm is surely out of commission until Wednesday's hematoma and today's new one heal. Also, I'm not sure if I can get a second good vein to pop out in my left arm because the one used Wednesday was classified as bruised by the tech today. I mean, I did get enough money between the two donations to pay for groceries and still have a little left over, which is nice. But will the center eventually rule me out as an eligible candidate because I keep having these problems? I dunno.
3 comments:
I made my first visit, they had to do readjustment...two days later they rejected that arm ...sort of..but then the tech said I had too high a blood pressure..yeah! you stick me first it was 142/102 ..she was cold as ice and never gave me information the nurse gave information and told me to ask questions...the girl "Sugar" no kidding that was her real name with a nose piercing and tatto did not really care to hear that ..but anyway she told me to wait 15 minutes ....problem she called me back in 5 and told me it was still high..she told me it was the same ...noticed she did not write it down ...I just want to know how to complain about their employees being aloof and what I see as lieing to me.
I have given plasma several times, but the initial visit was horrible. The spiel they sell initial donators on taking 2 (or where I went it stated at most 3)hours to complete the process is a filthy lie. Here is what happened to me:
I live about an hour away from the closest place plasma place, but I frequently visit the town where it is located. On such a visit I entered the plasma place, figuring it would be a good way for gas money, and a little extra cash for only a couple of hours of siting.
I was there for about an hour and 45 minutes. I waited quite a while during which time they examined my arms, gave me a book to study, and had my picture taken for records. After this, I gave a bit of blood for them to analyze. They told me that my count was too low (I had not eaten enough before hand they told me). After apologizing and saying that I thought I had, I was given a nasty tone with the comment if they had known that earlier, "You would not have gotten as far in the process as you did". Apparently, waiting just under two hours only inconvenienced them, and it was my fault for not informing them of something I had not realized myself. Okay, so failure.
About two months go by, I find myself back in the town (Champaign, Urbana location)and again, could use some cash. I figure that with the tests already completed, it should take less time than a full initial visit. Another two hours, three at absolute maximum.
I eat a large meal, and proceed to drive there, a 15 minute drive or so away. (You are supposed to have a large meal 1-2 hours before giving blood, so I always do right when I am heading there) Upon getting there I proceed to sit there for the next SIX hours. There are several things wrong with this. ( see next response)
1) Six hours. Duh.
2)I had already done some of the initial tests that did not need to be redone. Put simply, this was not even a completely new initial visit, they still had my records, my photo, information and signature.
3) I was not an isolated incident. (Though I believe I was one of the longest)The two people in front of me had been waiting almost five hours before they were admitted back.
4) Here is a kick in the head. I mention that while I had eaten right before hand, it had been quite awhile since I had anything and was wondering if that was ok to still give plasma (occurred around the four and a half mark). It apparently was not. I was given free pasta and a powerade (the pasta was Chef Boyardee, was not bad actually). Because I needed to eat, I was set aside so the food could digest. To summarize, after a long period of waiting, I could not donate, so I had to eat, and wait even longer because I had to eat. Think about that for a second. That was the ridiculous of the moment.
5) Generally speaking, I am a mild mannered guy. I rarely complain, and rarely get angry. That was about to change. Around the five, five and a half mark I was allowed to continue the process (still not allowed to give blood)and be physically examined. At this point I ask how much longer was this going to take. I did not raise my voice, or change tone but this apparently really ticked the person examining me off. The examiner responded that it was a long process, and the assistants are doing the best that they can and don't appreciate those kind of comments. Okkaaaay.Hit a nerve.
I finally get my shot on. Found a vein and proceeded to pump. I, do not like needles. However it was not that painful once it was in, just a weird feeling, when your pumping/clenching your fist. This was my last problem actually. I did not realize I needed to pump. It took me an extra 15 minutes or so then it needed to be because I was a moron. This was my own personal fault as they told me the procedure, and I was only half listening at this point (see point 1 aka six hours). At which point, incredibly irritated, a little hungry, and relieved it was over I left. From entry to exit, it took a little over seven hours (plasma over an hour, six hours waiting/tests).
What got me angry was this: I was told 2-3 hours. It was mentioned to me by the employees there, and repeatedly in the book it is also stated, in black and white. I was there seven hours from entering to leaving, and not once, not ONCE did I get a sorry, apology or any similar statement about how I was there doubly as long as stated I should be (Three times if you count my very first visit, for just under 9 hours). Though, actually as I was leaving I was given the statement of drink fluids, and if any bruises swelling call them. That's nice.
So to sum up, my first visit was incredibly unpleasant, several multipliers long as stated by the company Telecris and I was grateful to leave. Please keep this in mind however. I said FIRST visit. I have been back there several times since, and for the most part it is incredibly quicker and more efficient with an average time of 2 hours from entry to exit. That said, the first visit can be hell with an open ended time frame impossible to predict, employees who prioritize almost everyone else above you, and very little to do except talk/complain with other people in the same situation, or read a book (if you were smart or prescient enough to bring one)that will occupy you for several hours. Hope this serves as a careful warning.
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