The Case Against Cursive

Why oh why, Gentle Reader, is cursive writing still taught? In this day and age of hands and wrists cramped by keyboards, of forms and other written matter than must be entered by another human or scanned by machine into some database, of accusations flying against doctors' illegible chicken scratchings, why is cursive writing still taught? Couldn't we spend that time on learning much more meaningful, modern endeavors, such as...I don't know, some computer programming language?

Among the papers we received at kindergarten orientation a week ago was a copy of how the boy must learn how to print his letters so he can make the transition from print to cursive "easier" (so sayeth the photocopied paper). Looking at the steps prescribed (and I do use that word in the fullest meaning of definition 1 per Merriam-Webster) for forming each letter of the alphabet, I have to restrain myself from dashing my head into the nearest hard object. This is all so asinine! Must we continue to be slaves to long-dead arbiters of what an educated adult ought to know and be able to do?

Not only is this cursive endeavor asinine, it's all so very pointless. Gentle Reader, when was the last time you wrote something using a pen or pencil that wasn't a signature, a to-do list or some other ephemeral jotting? When was the last time you wrote using a pen or pencil a long-ish note, letter, missive or diatribe? How frequently do you take out your Montblonc or Cross pen and your Crane paper? When did you last write a check?

Yup, that's exactly what I thought. No one really in this day and age whips out a Bic and a Mead loose leaf for squat. You want to communicate? You send an email--or just pick up the damn phone (or, the FSM forbid, use those opposable digits that separate you from so many members of the animal kingdom to text your BFF using a collection of consonants that seem to defy comprehension). You need to wish someone some kind of greeting? You buy a Hallmark--or just opt for a freebie online. And screw those checks--that's why the universe created the debit card.

So why do children living in the 21st century, full of wonders of communication, need to learn cursive? So they can write legibly? I'd argue that's bullshit of the highest quality: Why should a Q look more like a 2 other than to be high-falutin'? Furthermore, many kids such as the boy must learn a "transition" method of writing to prepare for cursive, but this transition method isn't universally taught or a different one is taught, which can further screw up the kid's ability to write legibly. My own little sister was "taught" to write in italics starting in the first grade, and ever since, her penmanship has been...well, it has this belabored look about it, like it didn't flow naturally from her body.

While seeing what other folks had to say about this topic, I came across a Washington Post article from 2006 that presented this little tidbit: "But academics who specialize in writing acquisition argue that [learning and using cursive writing is] important cognitively, pointing to research that shows children without proficient handwriting skills produce simpler, shorter compositions, from the earliest grades."

Obvious question: Who the hell equated cursive writing with "proficient handwriting skills"? Writing in cursive is not going to make me a better writer and thinker. It's not going to prevent me from leaving morphemes off words because my fingers aren't as fast as my brain and thus they deposit those phonemes on other words later in a sentences. (The husband alerted me to this pattern of mine, and it's the only explanation we can determine for why an -ly or -ing will appear attached to a word about four or five after the word it was supposed to appear on. One day there will be a machine that can read my thoughts, and that will spell the end of my misplaced morphemes problem.)

Educators of today's children, do the world a favor and teach your students how to write legibly in a way that comes naturally to them. That's all that matters. Connecting letters to make writing pretty and frilly and "educate-looking" doesn't really mean jack in the end.

Won't Someone Please Think of the Children?