That's My Boy!

This Thursday has just not been my day. I chipped a tooth this morning, thus the needed trip to the dentist office threw a monkey wrench into my plans to both run and kickbox today. Then when I got the gym at 8 o'clock sharp, knowing that I'd have enough time to get in the four miles I had planned and get home before the dentist office opened and tried to return my voice message about an emergency visit, I realized that I'd forgotten my Nike+ sportsband at home.

Yes, Gentle Reader, I'm a total idiot.

So back home I raced--which is not easy when you've got to drag the boy out of the gym daycare, grab his shoes from the tracks, retrieve my driver's license (which you have to turn surrender in order to drop your kid off) and then get the boy into the car and buckled into his booster seat after wrangling with a safety-minded seatbelt that loves to lock up. But back home I got myself and the boy, grabbed my sportsband I did, hauled ass back to the gym, went through the rigamarole at the daycare then got my ass on the treadmill. I put in four miles without incident, dashed downstairs, retrieved the boy and his shoes and his license and, to save time, just held him for the trek to the car because, well, the boy can't put his shoes on without drama. It's really, really pathetic.

So there I am, Monkey Boy holding onto me gingerly because I'm drenched with sweat after my four miles, walking out of the daycare and toward the front door. Then he and I have this little exchange:

Me: Thank you, kiddo, for letting me come to the gym twice today.
The boy: And thank you, Mommy, for getting me all sweaty.
Me: Well, you're so welcome.
The boy: (grinning ear to ear) I was being sarcastic, Mommy.
Me: (grinning ear to ear) Yes, I know. And I'm so proud of you!

Ahh, put a feather in my cap. Pin a rose on my nose.

Call me a proud mom!

Now I just have to explain when sarcasm is appropriate and when it's more than likely to get his ass handed to him....

Speaking of Hilarious Things....
I was reading in today's WSJ that Microsoft has allegedly hired Jerry Seinfeld to be a spokesperson to help counter Apple's "Mac vs. PC" commercials and convince buyers that Vista is not a total flaming dog turd and that Microsoft is hip and cool, yo.

"What's so funny about that?" you ask, Gentle Reader?

"Are you a brainless, clueless moron?" I ask right back to you, Gentle Reader.

First off, no amount of ad spending in the FSM's fantastic fettuccine bowl will ever convince the majority of folks who have experienced Windows XP that Vista is, to use an antiquated term from roughly the same period when Seinfeld was considered funny by some, all that and a bag of chips. While I was a tech editor at the local computer manufacturing giant, I had the, um, pleasure of editing the tech support training document for Vista. That document was endless because Vista just encompassed too much, took away too much, has too many useless "features" and causes too many problems. When the folks selling you your computer are already gearing up months in advance to try to deal with all the complaints and problems a new OS would bring, you know something's not right.

Secondly, what brilliant mind decided that Seinfeld is still somehow relevant, not to mention funny? I'll admit that I've never found Seinfeld, his show, the characters on the show or anything about it funny. I found the whole Seinfeld phenomenon annoying and obnoxious. His brand of humor wasn't unique and sure as hell today isn't unique.

But, hey, if you want to appeal to those consumers who think Seinfeld is the greatest thing in comedy since the prat fall, then more power to you. These consumers most likely weren't contemplating Mac purchases anyway.