Canadian Curry

Yes, Gentle Reader! It's time to bash Canada!



Gads, I miss MST3K....

But I have to say this about those "lousy, stinking, Francophonic, bacon-loving bastards"--or at least Lorna Irving of Holberg, British Columbia: She knows her curry!

Yes, that's right, Gentle Reader. I whipped up a curry recipe from Canada. And it was one of the best curries I've ever had.

And get this, Gentle Reader: It came from a Halloween food and crafts special publication.

The boy spied this little booklet on a trip to Wally World a few weeks back, and it became the fam's first Halloween purchase of the year. (No, sorry, the mallowcreme pumpkins did not have that honor this year.) I have many a recipe bookmarked from TasteofHome.com, and the ideas for goodies are quite cute. (Yes, snarky 'ol me can do cute. Don't expect me to smile at an Anne Geddes photo any time soon, but I can do cute if it involves bones, ghosts, witches, ghouls or other haints.) One of the other selling points: a curry recipe that, with its full tablespoon of curry powder, set my curry senses all atwitter.

Curried Lamb Stew2 lb. lean lamb stew meat, cut into 3/4" cubes
4 t olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 T curry powder
1 t NaCl
1/4 t pepper
1/8 t ground coriander
1/8 t ground cumin
1/8 t ground cinnamon
1/8 t cayenne pepper
1/4 C all-purpose flour
1 1/4 C water
1 C unsweetened pineapple juice
1 medium tart apple, peeled and chopped
1/4 C tomato sauce
1/2 C sour cream

1. In a Dutch oven, brown on all sides the meat in the olive oil in batches, then remove it from the pan and keep warm.
   
2. Brown the onion and garlic in the meat drippings until the onion is tender.
   
3. Add the curry powder, NaCl, pepper, coriander, cumin, cinnamon and cayenne powders. Cook, stirring frequently, for 2 minutes.
   
4. Sprinkle the flour into the Dutch oven, then cook, stirring frequently, for 2-3 minutes.
   
5. Stir in the water, pineapple juice, apple and tomato sauce.
   
6. Return the meat to the Dutch oven, and bring the curry to a boil.
   
7. Reduce the heat then cover and let the curry simmer for an hour or until the meat is tender.
   
8. Remove the curry from heat and stir in the sour cream. Serve with rice or noodles (::shudder:: -Ed.) if desired.

Yield: 6 1-cup servings

Nutritional Info
Here's the nutritional info from the online version of the recipe. Note that the stats below are just for the curry--not curry and rice or curry and ::shudder:: noodles.

Calories: 310
Fat: 12 g
Saturated Fat: 4 g
Protein: 31 g
Carbs: 18 g
Cholesterol: 95 mg
Na: 533 mg
Fiber: 2 g

The Faudie's Futzings

• I can't eat lamb. I just...it's too horrible to think of where the meat came from. So I used two pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Chickens--eh, who cares.
  
• I didn't add all 4 teaspoons of olive oil to Clive the Dutchie at once. I put in 2 teaspoons before the first batch of cubed chicken, another teaspoon before the third and final batch of meat and then not quite a full teaspoon when I was browning the onions. I suspect lamb meat leaves behind more "drippings" than chicken boobs.
  
• Taking a cue from America's Test Kitchen, I toasted the coriander, cumin, cinnamon, cayenne and curry powders and black pepper until they were just smoking so that their flavor releases better. Gentle Reader, if I could capture a smell for this blog, I'd capture the smell of those spices toasting. Hmmm...scratch-and-sniff blogging--the next big thing?
  
• Believe it or not, Gentle Reader, I actually used all-purpose flour. I broke down and bought some this morning. I know, I know, flog me for being a hypocrite. I'm dirt.

I cannot begin to tell you, Gentle Reader, how very happy I am with this Canadian curry. While it's not as spicy hot as I love my curries to be, the combination of pineapple and cinnamon with just a touch of heat is heavenly. And if you want to be different, try fresh, cool Gala apple slices in lieu of rice--it's a quite refreshing way to enjoy the curry. If you want a "gentle" introduction to curries, try out this recipe.

The Gulab Jamun Incident
No, Gentle Reader, the subheader doesn't refer to the follow-up album to GNR's fifth album. (If Chinese Democracy ever sees the light of die, I will probably keel over dead from shock. Although the track I've heard from the latest iteration of that album isn't terrible--unlike the first track of Metallica's new album. Lars, turn down the drums, son.) Instead, I refer to the latest culinary misadventure at Chez Boeckman-Walker: my attempt to make gulab jamun, those wonderful doughnut hole-like Indian treats soaked in a simple rosewater syrup from scratch.

I bought the mix at Gandhi Bazar in early spring, and it's sat in the pantry, mocking me and taunting me, for the longest time. Since I planned to make curry, I thought, Well hell, why not see if I can screw up two things today?

Heh, since I didn't screw up the curry, you know I had to screw up the gulab jamuns.

First of all, my complete lack of math skills had me questioning if I'd even made the dough right. The instructions stated that for every full measuring container of mix you put in the bowl, add one-fourth of that measuring container of water. The mix is made in India for international markets, so that's about as specific as the instructions can get, I guess. Since I opted to make the whole bag of mix, I measured it to be one and one-fourth cups. Seeing as how my math skills suck, I wasn't entirely sure the amount of water I put in was correct.

Luckily, the dough came out with a consistency that allowed me to roll out some little dough balls.

They look so innocent in that bowl, don't they? They haven't done a thing to anyone. Nope, they've just been sitting in that bowl, awaiting their fate.

And that fate was a saute pan with some melted ghee. Yes, Gentle Reader, you read that correctly. I used ghee, just as the package directed. I was aiming for authentic here, dammit.

Perhaps I should have aimed lower. Or done a bit more research on how these things are made authentically. My gulabs didn't stay round despite my best efforts. Then they started to burn on their flattened sides. See for yourself, Gentle Reader:

Trust me, this moment captured for posterity is pretty tame compared to how burned some of them got. Gads, I suck at frying things.

If there's any good that came from The Gulab Jamun Incident, I learned how to make simple syrup. Yup, Gentle Reader, I too can add equal parts sugar and water and boil it for 15 minutes. Yes, Gentle Reader, I even used regular C&H pure cane sugar--no sugar replacers. And since gulab jamuns float in a simple syrup flavored with rose water or cardamom, I added both--and the result was delicious.

Unfortunately, the result did not appear appetizing:

But let me assure you, those little babies were damn tasty. The little bit of cardamom powder I added to the syrup gave 'em just enough spice. I found myself flashing back to those wonderful visits to Winchell's with Grandpa for cake doughnut holes hot and rolled in cinnamon and sugar. (Cardamom, if you didn't know, Gentle Reader, is very similar to cinnamon. Hence the flashback.)

If I learned anything from The Gulab Jamun Incident, it's this: Just buy a can of 'em and boil the can in a pan of hot water as directed on the label the next time I want hot gulab jamuns at home.